Welcome to Session 3 of Marriage Preparation
You’ve reached the final session! This session looks at sexuality and fertility, our family of origin and parenting. As a Church we have a duty to give you the opportunity to know what the Church ACTUALLY says about these things. Not what common culture thinks it says.
There are many different ideas about what the Church teaches about love & sexuality. When St Pope John Paul II became Pope he used his weekly audiences for 5 whole years to talk about these matters. This was all collected together in a document called Theology of the Body.
St Pope John Paul II open the door on the true beauty and value of the human person for ordinary people to understand. It is also helps us understand the dignity and worth of every human life. Before we can make total gift to each other we have to have self worth and respect for the other too. Theology of the Body helps us know our own self worth and also helps us see others with dignity and purpose. It’s through this that we start to understand about love & sexuality. Take a moment to watch this video together about this topic.
When we talk of sexual activity we look at it as something we SAY not something we DO. It’s a beautiful form of communication between a couple. We want you do have this information to make informed choices. Take some time to share discuss and watch the video together.
Bonding not just Babies
As a mum of five I used to be challenged as to if I had them because I wanted them or because I was Catholic! Despite popular opinion the church doesn’t want you to have as many babies as possible.
Sexual activity is a gift which makes us closer to each other through physical hormone changes bonding us together. We speak of total love and gift which is permanent and open to life.
Sex is something special rather than a self satisfying social activity as its often sold as these days.
not a new teaching
Often the media will say our Popes have changed teaching! What they actually do is clarify it. We have always been called to plan families responsibly. But by using natural methods of fertility awareness.
In creating man and woman for each other, God made marriage to be love-giving and life-giving. We call these two purposes or “ends” of marriage the unitive and the procreative. They are inseparably connected and are ordered to each other.
The two purposes cannot be separated “without altering the couple’s spiritual life and compromising the goods of marriage and the future of the family” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 2363).
Planning naturally
Forget the unreliable counting calendar days and guess work. Many women and couples are choosing this method as a healthy and natural option. Its takes initial training by a qualified practitioner to understand the science which gives this a 98% success rate used correctly. Don’t rely on just a phone app that may do the maths but doesn’t have the ability to know your own body and situation as well as you can know yourself .Locally the following contacts offer the opportunity to learn more.
Loveyourcycle@outlook.com with Elly. (Charges may apply)
mary@naturalfertilitynurse.com Mary offers Natural Fertility Awareness
on behalf of the Catholic Church through the Oasis of Peace Jersey
(Donation based to the Oasis)
Understanding our own family upbringing & starting our own. Share & Discuss the following:
My Family & Yours
We all have been influenced in some way by our family in our attitudes, behaviours and values. We also will have been influenced by our parenting experience
This will in turn alter how we deal with conflict. We need to have must have conversations about what ways we will choose our family styles
In bringing two families together there will be similarities and differences. We need to consider how we handle this to use the good elements we want to bring to our own union.
We may find somethings difficult so need to use the Must Have Conversations we discussed last time to avoid conflict and have a united plan
Sharing Family values
Culture is about how the family does things. How they handle the problems of life. Families have a huge impact on the way we behave and react much more than we probably give credit for.
Behaviours and expectations can be the result of example and expectations from within our family of origin. Research indicates that the development of a child’s behaviour is strongly influenced by how well his or her family functions.
Some family characteristics we inherit whilst others become learned perceptions and reactions over the years. We have certain cultural expectations and certain family dynamic expectations which we carry with us into our relationship.
We need to look at our upbringing and family and consider what expectations and ways we will carry into our marriage
Becoming parents
· The decision to start a family is only the beginning. You have to consider many things and have some more of those Must Have Conversations.. Children are a gift from God and each comes as a new person with his/her own purpose and dignity. Your love creates a whole new human person through God’s creation plan! That’s amazing.
How many children would you like? When would you start your family? Maybe you have children already. How does that impact your relationship?
We also have to have a Must Have Conversation about thee fact some couples cannot always have children. This can be devastating but as discussed in session 2, it is important to talk about that ‘what if’ rather than waiting for a time of crisis and anxiety.